Kingdom Kalls Part 1

A few months ago, I got sick. Really sick. It wasn't just an illness. My spiritual gift of discernment was telling me this was bad. I could literally sense something around me and the fact that I was downplaying it was opposite my excitable nature. I saw a side of my husband that after 12 years of marriage, I had never seen before. His eyes revealed genuine fear. I wondered if he was thinking how his mother had been diagnosed with cancer and had died less than three months later. He was quiet and lost in thought. My doctor became nervous and my insurance agent was alarmed when I called her to add life insurance & cancer policies "just in case."

Around week six, lying in bed trying to make sense of what was going on, a thought popped into my head. "I may very well meet God face to face without having read His autobiography."

I wasn't nervous like a kid having to give an oral book report on a book I hadn't read. It wasn't like being a famous television host interviewing a celebrity about her latest book on live TV. No, it was sadness. It was more than sadness, it was regret.

I had regret that I had been too busy. I had regret that I had assumed I would be guaranteed tomorrow to read my Bible, that same book my mama gave me when I was 13 and just blossoming into the youth group at our church. That was 21 years ago, two decades and a year AGO. Had I been productive? Yes. I would call college and raising a family productive. Was what I was doing important? Yes, true there too. However, I felt my time was very possibly almost up and all I knew was I felt very sad I had not read God's word cover to cover. I had regret that I hadn't told Him how much He meant to me and how I loved Him so by spending time with Him. I wanted to hang onto His every word and now, I might not have that chance. My heart ached.

THANKFULLY, I am all better now! All tests results came back okay and my health returned to that of a normal 34 yr-old! Something is different though, very different and I didn't quite realize the scope of it until today. I'll tell you more about that & explain the crazy spelling in the title, tomorrow in part 2! See ya soon.

Sitting at the masters feet,
~Clarissa